My Happy Finds – A place for Love, Life and Laughter

Why I Date Fobby Girls? – by Crouching Tiger

Posted on: August 9, 2009 | By Maigal



This article was submitted by a MyHappyFinds reader (Crouching Tiger).  He would like to share his views on why he dates fobby girls.  Enjoy!

After reading comments by conceited Asian females, the ‘Sex and the City’ wannabes on this blog, I have decided to add my own opinion on dating an Asian Female.  Not just any Asian Female, but a FOB.  So what is a FOB? FOB stands for ‘Fresh off the Boat’ and is a derogatory term referring to Asian Immigrants by mainly “American Born Chinese” (ABC). There are many types of FOB’s and the term has become a cliché used by all Asians in reference to each other. For example, you can be considered a FOB if: you hang out at Chinese karaoke bars or in Chinatown (not borough specific), speak/write/read Chinese, do not speak/write/read English, were born in a different country, or dress in a non-American style.

I have dated both types of Asian females, and the difference between the two is like comparing a Honda (low maintenance and long lasting) to a GM (no explanation needed) automobile.  The Asian females nowadays, who were once FOB’s themselves, calumniate other Asians because they have been in promiscuous relationships with non-Asians.  (Wow! Now you can say you slept with a white guy and check that off your New Year’s resolution).  Most ABC’s are materialistic, you girls know who you are.  How many times have you bitched and cried because you did not get that Prada, Gucci, or LV bag for Christmas, and then turned around and whined to your girlfriends about your man, complaining how he is an egotistical, chauvinistic, or frugal boyfriend.   Seriously, enough with the disparaging comments on Asian males, such as: apprehensive, unwilling, short (both in height and man-hood), close-minded, and overly selective. Let me give you something better to comment about.

Why I choose to date fobby girls:

  1. Monetary – Majority of the females from overseas do not need to be lavished with expensive gifts or dinners. Most are satisfied with who you are and not with the car you drive or the house you own.  With that being said, that doesn’t mean you can flaunt your wealth, and expect the same for every girl.  It is the nature of the beast with any female; if you flaunt it, be ready to spend it.
  2. Approachability – If you talk to them, they will most likely respond back with an answer and not with a stare-away or cold-shoulder.  They are more receptive towards people, but I am not saying they will welcome all with open arms.  And also most of their friends are not CB (cock-blockers)-I find that a plus when talking to girls.  You know who the CB’s are before approaching any group, so for you CB out there, go sit in the corner and sip on a Mai Tai.
  3. Linguistic – It is always a plus for a girl to speak a different language.  I find it useful on many occasions, times when she can order my favorite dinner items, when I am lost in translation.  For you non-believers, my brother’s wife is an ABC and unfortunately for him he only gets to eat Ma Po Tofu or General Tso’s Chicken.
  4. Standards – I found that they are less concerned with physical attributes.  But I am not saying they are attracted to just anyone, chances are you won’t be turned down based on physical attributes alone.  I also found that you have to speak some Chinese before riding on the Yangtze River.
  5. Domestic – They will help with your laundry or some other chores in your house.   How many of you can say your girlfriend is willing to do your laundry every week?

Before you start to flame, I will tell you I do have a girlfriend and you can call me a geek, nerd, FOB, or whatever adjective you have on your mind.  The truth of the matter is I have a relationship, and while you watch re-runs of ‘Sex and the city’, I’ll be having sex in the city.

Related Topics:


18 Responses to “Why I Date Fobby Girls? – by Crouching Tiger”

  1. Alvin Lin
    August 9th, 2009 @ 8:34 pm

    This blog is about sellouts and uncle toms like Pat Lew!

  2. Billy Jean Michaels
    August 10th, 2009 @ 10:12 am


    One of the main reasons why some asian females (ABC’s) who are 35+ approaching cougar status and wonder why they are still single


  3. Stephanie
    August 10th, 2009 @ 1:37 pm

    haha I can see there are some truths to some extent. But the problem with girls that can’t speak english is that they’re limited career wise and socially as well. Just think about that for a bit.

  4. Nice or Naught
    August 10th, 2009 @ 1:38 pm

    Although, I think that there are some truths to your article, it seems to me that this is a personal intake on dating and relationship. This article is obviously not describing or commenting on the general consensus on dating. With that said, you’re probably a dude not with a lot of money, not very good looking, have lower standards because you can’t live up to the females standards. Why shouldn’t girls want the best of the best of and from guys. I’m sure that goes for guys as well. But obviously that is not the case for you.

  5. mcluvin
    August 10th, 2009 @ 2:18 pm

    So are you saying Fobby girls are not pretty, have low standards, and don’t want the best of the best? Who died and made you first class citizen?

  6. Billy Jean Michaels
    August 10th, 2009 @ 3:03 pm

    someone has a ego problem here

  7. MA Shumin
    August 10th, 2009 @ 3:44 pm

    From my observation, many ‘fobby’ people [male and female] are materialistic – perhaps because of the new wealth in China, for all those age 33 and under.

    But being materialistic, snobby, monolingual vs. multi-lingual has nothing to do with how fobby or not-fobby a person is – it is more an individual trait, no?

  8. Crouching Tiger
    August 10th, 2009 @ 3:47 pm

    Naughty and Ugly – If you read the title, it says ‘Why I like dating Fobby girls’. So the article represents my views and not yours. Your comments represent the typical female I stay away from narrow-minded, gold-digging, and narcissistic female. Before I respond to your comments, do you even have a man? No, I am not talking about the one you call when you are lonely, or the one you talk to online through
    I can assure you I am not poor, unattractive, or have low standards. I have a nice car, apartment, career, and bank accounts. My woman makes her own money and takes care of herself. And Yes, she has a college degree and speaks English.
    I think you are that lonely girl at the club who is jealous of your friends because they are getting all the attention, and the only way you can get attention from guys is to CB other people. Let’s be honest here what makes you special and what can you offer guys?

  9. Lillianna
    August 10th, 2009 @ 6:36 pm

    It doesn’t need to be so black and white, there are grey areas. It’s all about respecting each other’s upbringing and unique qualities. Being a FOB or not has nothing to do with what kind of people you date or don’t date. I agree people shouldn’t hold expectation for someone when they don’t have the same expectation for themselves.

    All relationships are about compromises and loving the other person for who they are and how they are differenct from you, how boring will life be if your other half is the exact mirror of yourself. Two people should be able to learn from each other.

  10. K
    August 11th, 2009 @ 4:01 am

    I’m not sure you can pin-point this on the “non-FOB” Asian women specifically. It’s a bit fuzzy and I think it can be used to describe a lot of PEOPLE in general.

  11. Nice or Naught
    August 11th, 2009 @ 7:50 pm

    Crouching Tiger – Narrow-minded? Really? Who’s here writing an article about American Born Chinese girls being materialistic and close-minded? If you were so open-minded, or more so than I am, then you should know that FOB girls can be just at materialistic and close-minded. In addition to that is there are many ABC girls who are all of the things you described, so you should not have discredited them. As for me being lonely, loneliness is a choice. I am by far lonely and I do have a man. Since you feel that you have to disclose that your girlfriend has a college degree and speaks English tells me that you have a slight confidence problem. Why else would you feel the need to disclose that? I don’t care. I never commented on you not having a girlfriend or anything about your girlfriend for that matter.

    McLuvin – My comment is by no means implying that fobby girls are not pretty, have low standards, or don’t want the best of the best. I live in a community where there are plenty of fobby girls, and they are not any of that. It is in fact the opposite.

    Billy Jean Michaels – You may think that I have an ego problem (never had ever told me that before). I actually take it as a compliment, because men have egos, why can’t women. In addition, my “ego problem” is considered by others as a high self confidence.

  12. Billy Jean Michaels
    August 11th, 2009 @ 7:59 pm

    Naughty and Saggy-

    How you figure I was implying you? Unless you really have a ego problem….do you?

    high self confidence hehehehe


  13. W|X 240
    August 12th, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

    Crouching Tiger is too funny…

  14. Paidin
    August 20th, 2009 @ 2:05 am

    I am a White male that does NOT prefer to date Asian females. I prefer to date woman that are kind, intelligent, and outgoing. All the girls I am currently approaching happen to be Asian females. The majority are FOBs too. Not just any FOBs, but “here for a week” international students (I go to a great community college).

    Everyone prefers a rich partner, but FOBs will still consider you despite your lacking wealth.

    I’ve always had luck sitting next to a FOB girl and starting a conversation with her. They always feel the need to have a better excuse than “I’m not interested, just go away”.

    Linguistically, that’s just Tiger’s opinion. I think accents are cute, but they’re a dime a dozen.

    Let me rephrase “standards” using positive speech: FOB girls are more interested in your personal attributes than your physical attributes. I hope this helps everyone understand what was stated.

    Domestication is something that US girls have been “liberated” from during the feminist revolution. Since then, they have used a double standard to put down guys who’s mothers never taught them to clean house. FOB girls figure that all guys are slobs (since it’s common in their country too) and have no delusions that a guy is supposed to also be a homemaker (But bonus points if you are one!).

    @Nice or Naught:
    There is no need to have consensus on dating to give an individual’s opinion, as the title and first paragraph of the article state to be the case. You need to read it before you critique it.
    You made logical assumptions based on the author’s descriptions of a FOB’s lower standards. However, you used that deduction to make a personal attack, which entirely discredits your accusation. Be reasonable or STFU.
    There will be exceptions to rules. They do NOT redefine a standard. Just because you met a FOB that is a bitch or have a friend that is super sweet, doesn’t change an observation that most ABCs are bitches and most FOBs are nice.
    Crouching Tiger wasn’t using his woman as a crutch; he was bragging. Using that to launch a personal attack further discredits your reputation (and everybody has caught on by now).
    Having an ego problem is just as much an insult to men as it is to women. People say that your ego problem is a sign of high self-confidence because they don’t want to pop your inflated confidence. You are obviously overcompensating for one that is lacking. Takes one to know one, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.

    Here’s a point against dating FOB girls: their families tend to only accept boyfriends of their ethnicity, so moving on to marriage is more difficult. If marriage is part of your plans, then either: find an independently minded FOB or one who’s family was “relocated” during the “social revolution”.

  15. Paidin
    August 20th, 2009 @ 2:10 am

    Correction: “Been here for a week” international students.

  16. Icypink
    September 5th, 2009 @ 10:27 pm

    I don’t think it has anything to do with FOB.. sounds more like that author is
    1) a cheapo.
    2) Sensitive and easily offended when rejected.
    3)Language…if he loves a specific dish enough, he would learn how to say it himself and not rely on someone else.
    4) Everyone is concerned with physical attributes,,it’s a matter of whether they are willing to accept your looks or not. If you balance out on another attribute then you’re safe.
    5) Hello, do you help your gf with HER laundry. She’s not your maid. Go hire one if that’s what you’re looking for.

  17. Mai-Trang Thi Nguyen
    September 20th, 2011 @ 4:47 pm

    A fob woman takes care of her man And her children And parents of the husbands by sticking to the female duties, and a fob man takes care of his woman by working to make money with 2 jobs. Modern abc’s don’t understand the value of traditional family like typical modern feminism thus the abc’s always age ugly with women looking like men and men looking like women. Yucky.

  18. Christine
    July 26th, 2014 @ 2:39 am

    I stumbled on this blog way after the appropriate commenting period, but I would like to add my two cents as an Asian-American who’s grown up in China and California.
    First, I don’t think it’s fair to categorize all international Chinese students in a certain way, but I attend a university (Berkeley) where there is a MASSIVE international population and after some observation, I think it’s safe to say they do adhere to certain stereotypes. That being said, it’s not fair to generalize all Asian-American girls, but like I mentioned, we do fall under certain stereotypes as well.
    I really disagree with your first observation. I know that Asians (especially Chinese females) are labelled as money-seekers, which I can affirm. My experiences with ABC females are different. Yes, they do like money, but I think the media exaggerates this aspect. Most ABCs grow up and chase their ambitions whether it be business, law, medicine, engineering, education, etc. I noticed that international students seem to be the ones who care about money. Perhaps this is caused by the massive quantities of wealth in China.
    I agree with you about approachability. However, it’s not fair to assume that ABCs will snootily turn away. I believe it’s due to cultural differences. It probably also depends on where you live. I grew up in California, and everyone is pretty warm and receptive here. It might be different in the midwest, south, east coast, etc. I want to point out that the international students at Berkeley tend to treat ABCs poorly. Not physically, but they’ll talk about us in Chinese and contrary to what they think, A LOT of us can understand/speak Mandarin/Cantonese. Perhaps not as well as mainlanders, but we’re not completely foreign to our language of origin.
    Yes, it’s great to be bilingual. Yes, many Asian Americans cannot speak Chinese/whatever language their parents spoke. I am one of them and it’s embarrassing but I’m taking steps to regaining my first language. I have to admit, it’s really hard balancing two languages. English will now, and forever be my primary language. I agree that it’s wonderful to be bilingual, but it’s hard for us to keep up with the same level of fluency when we’re exposed to the language less often.
    Hmm, I suppose so. Can’t really say much for different standards. I think Asian Americans tend to favor different features that international Asians like.
    I disagree with your last observation. Perhaps that was how Chinese girls acted decades ago, but I don’t think it holds true anymore. More and more women are breaking free from traditional gender roles.
    Anyway, it was an interesting read. Thanks for sharing.

Leave a Reply

Follow Us On...

Facebook Twitter MySpace RSS Feed
Join Our Newsletter

Support This Site

Most Popular